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SLEEPING WITH GOD

by the green pastor • March 12, 2019

by the green pastor

In Mark 4:35-41, Jesus and the disciples were crossing over to the other side of a lake, when a furious storm broke out, threatening to fill the boat and drown everyone therein. Jesus was in the bottom of the boat sleeping when the disciples frantically awakened Him with the words “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”(NIV) In this moment of desperation, when Jesus was seemingly sleeping on the job—when they needed Him most, the disciples were forced to come face to face with, when it came down to it...was their view of who GOD sometimes seemed to be to them, in situations like these! " “Don’t you care if we drown?” "Don't you care about us?!" "Do you really truly love us the way you say you do?!"
 
This is a derivative of the age old implication that has ever haunted humanity since the very beginning, regarding the forbidden fruit temptation. The serpent tempted Eve with the accusation that GOD didn't love them the way He claimed, as He was withholding special and important blessings from them, as proof of this!

 Today, some of you feel like you are nose deep; overwhelmed to the point of drowning in dire circumstances— while GOD seems to be, as it were, sleeping on the job. At this very moment, some of you feel like you are submerged to the point of choking, on your manifold pain and sorrow! You are flooded with terror...the clock quickly ticking against you, as the rapidly rising tide rushes towards you to meet it's fearful deadline! And honestly, here in this place, it can very easily appear that GOD does not truly seem to care as to whether or not you drown! After all, you have drowned before...and He did not seem to demonstrate concern or compassion for you when you absolutely needed Him, most. And even though you may have made excuses for Him, for why He didn't seem to be there for you, many of you have vivid and traumatic memories of frantically flailing in the drowning waters of some of your most overwhelming troubles; waters that ended up having their way in your life...despite your most fervent prayers, propelled by your most determined faith!

The traumatizing memories of these heartbreaking drownings, haunt your faith as specters in the night; haunting you with conflicting doubts of whether or not GOD really, truly cares about you, or even the terrible circumstances you NOW face! Or is He, as we are often taught, more concerned about our being obedient enough, testing our faith, punishing us for our sins, or withholding His help as some expensive lesson exacted from our lives because of our humanity's inherent weakness...for which we are taught, is for our own good!

Oh, how this kind of complicated man-based teaching used to explain away our hearts unacknowledged doubts about the LORD's faithfulness...so undermines and HAUNTS our, what is supposed to be simple, yet mountain-moving...child-like faith! "Ooooooooooooo!" Haunts the ghosts of doubt! "Oooooooooooooo!" Haunts the ghosts of doubt in the person and character of GOD, Himself; doubt in how much He really, truly cares about us; doubt even in His, what could sometimes be considered as questionable, love for us! For, how could GOD let someone He supposedly loves and cares for so very much...hurt so very much? "Oooooooooooo!" "Oooooooooooo!"

And yet, these forbidden feelings lurk deep within the most profound wounds of your multi- cracked and broken heart—wounds so profound that many of you may, without realizing it, be in hiding from them! You dare not face them, acknowledge them, much less speak of such feelings aloud for fear that they may escape their cells in your heart that you've compartmentalized them in, hardening your heart to insulate yourself, trapping the fury of your grief therein, for survival and sanity's sake...lest the mere trauma of which, might erupt and rise up like an unstoppable tsunami and violently drown, what for many of GOD's people, may be the remaining vestiges of their already gasping faith!

But oh, if some of you could dare to be honest with yourselves! And oh, if some of you had the courage to come face to face with some of these unacknowledged, unspoken, hidden from yourself, hurts and disappointments buried so deep, deep— within yourselves..."Ooooooooooooooo!" "Ooooooooooooooo!" "Oooooooooooooooooooo!"

THE ROOT OF THE MATTER
The root of the matter all boils down to whether or not we choose to accept, from our hearts, that the LORD truly does care for us...enough to let Him care for us! Or, when our faith in His care for us is challenged, will we decide against resting in His care...and instead, choose to care for ourselves! It is here, in this ever cycling fork in the proverbial road, that decisions have been continuously made that have resulted in reducing our lives that are supposed to glorious temples of the Holy Ghost into a desolately flooded and broken down...haunted houses!

Consider this. The furious storm threatened to fill the boat, drowning Jesus and His disciples! After being frantically awakened by His disciples, from what was apparently a deep sleep, Jesus stopped the storm, cold...with a simple rebuke. Afterwards, He asked them "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

In other words, Jesus was asking them "Why are you so afraid and quick to believe, that I don't care about you?" "Do you still have no faith?" Or, "Do you still have no faith in my love for you?" In this, Jesus was modeling a lesson that would prove to be among the most important lessons that any of us could ever learn from Him! He proved with a simple storm-stopping rebuke, that He could have hushed the storm at anytime. But sometimes, the Father may want you to ride out your storm...like Jesus Himself, was doing before His disciples frantically awakened Him from His rest! Jesus wanted His disciples to join Him in the rest or to...sleep 'with' Him!

The same is true for you, even now! The LORD could stop your storm at any time, if He wanted to. He could instantly heal you or deliver you at anytime, if He wanted to! He could immediately open up the windows of Heaven and send you your badly needed provision at anytime, if He wanted to! But sometimes, He wants us to learn how to ride out our storm...to walk it out with Him by faith, by learning what it means to enter into the rest, or to...sleep 'with' GOD!

Among the storms primary purposes in your life, is to drive you more deeply...more intimately into resting in the arms of Jesus! Remember, Jesus was in the same boat, in the same storm, as the disciples. Maybe even more so because He was in the bottom of the boat where the vessel was rapidly filling up, first. Therefore, Jesus was the closest to the danger...the closest to potentially, drowning! The enemy was challenging Jesus to rise up—react to the storm by taking control of the situation! (For which He later would for the sake of His freaked out disciples but, not for His own sake) Instead, Jesus rested all the more in the Father's sovereign control—resisting the urge to take control of His circumstances but rather, keeping the control in the Father's hands!

The deeper the water got, the deeper Jesus fell into His sleep...refusing to react to the situation but rather, staying asleep! "Wake up!" The storm furied! To which Jesus dozed! "zzzzzzzzzzzz!" The storm grew angrier...and uglier! "WAKE UP! DO SOMETHING!" To which Jesus snoozed, even more deeply! "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" The storm's pressure increased! "WAKE UP!!! YOU'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!!! IT'S UP TO YOU!!!" WAKE UP!!!!! To which Jesus snored, all the more deeply! “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!" "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

On the whole, OUR most devastating drownings have resulted from allowing the storm to wake us up in the most critical of times! But, Jesus knew that the Father had Him...had His back, and He REFUSED to be moved or frightened out of the arms of His FAITHFUL Father! Likewise, Jesus has you...has your back! His desire is for you to likewise REFUSE to be rousted from His faithful embrace! He means for you to rest in the arms of His faithfulness! It is what He longs for, from you! For great and tender is the intimacy of this place, with Him! For truly, the storm is the bedchamber of GOD! (Selah)

It is not coincidental that lovers typically, almost traditionally, tend to be intimate at night...! It is a sign that the most intimate moments shared between two lovers is mostly...in the night; in the darkest of times! Yes, right there in the middle of our darkest storms! He becomes manifest—to pour out His love upon you, and to experience your love poured out upon Him, as well! For surely, the storm is the bedchamber of GOD!

Therefore, let the threatening waves of drowning waters, that would set themselves round about you, for harm...instead, serve as catalysts, covering you as a blanket, enhancing the warmth between two lovers...tightly holding each other, in the night! "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" The enemy means to use this fiery storm you are now facing to burn you out of your intimate rest with Jesus! The LORD instead, means for this firery tribulation to provide greater warmth within your love affair with Him, and even feed the fires of passion burning between you and He who is the lover of your soul! "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" For surely, the storm is the bedchamber of GOD!

Remember, when Jesus did take authority over a situation it was for the sake of His disciples, or mostly for the sake of others but, not so much for Himself! He was able to be sensitive as to when He was to rebuke the storm, and when He was to ride it out! And most of the time, we today can often tell the difference in our own lives. But, a clue for those of you who struggle in discerning the difference between the 'REBUKE' and the 'REST'! It's when your storm successfully resists your best efforts to control it, even by faith! And even your most fervent prayers, propelled by your most determined faith, seem ineffective and powerless, before your storm!

It is then that you should ignore any complicated performance-based teachings on what to do and what not do, that the Body Of Christ has received over the past number of years! It is then that there is only one solution. There has always been only one solution! Yes! That's right..."zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"!

"GOLIATH! Prepare to DIE!"

By by The Green Pastor • May 20, 2020
“GOLIATH! PREPARE TO DIE!" David's scream echoed out across the battlefield at Goliath, in a loud and commanding voice, dripping with indignation! All present felt the force permeating this young snotty nosed nobody's, war cry! And even though Goliath laughed mockingly, in his heart, he sensed something in this disrespectful, wet behind the ears young punk, that felt a whole lot like...AUTHORITY! And in that moment, as Goliath laughed to himself, he mused in his heart that, he had faced and vanquished some of the mightiest men of his day on the field of battle since the days of his early youth...and in all his battles—great and small alike, he had never witnessed someone so unlikely, yet so convinced, so sure of his coming victory, that he almost seemed to be in AUTHORITY...as if he had laid claim to the very battlefield for his possession! Goliath's extensive experience on the battlefield where he had ruled quite literally as a GIANT among men, allowed him to perceive things that most other men could not fathom as reserved only for the eyes of a champion or battlefield ruler! This vantage allowed the giant to noticed that, this kid was so committed to his presumed authority, that some kind of POWER seemed to almost emanate this idiotic, teenage upstart! But the giant laughs it off, as he looks down at this young almost grasshopper by comparison, figure before him, and continued to mock this nothing of a kid, by his gods! Still, it was undeniable to Goliath and to both assembled armies, that this boy wasn't just 'junk talking' or running his mouth in an 'out-of-touch' with reality, hype! There seemed to be something about him! He seemed to be making declarations of what he was about to do to Goliath, in the name of the LORD...so AUTHORITATIVELY, that if you didn't look and see who was actually making those pronouncements, it would almost feel...believable! Can you see David charging the giant with all his might...shouting in utter outrage at the blaspheming Goliath, as if he were the giant—not Goliath! Oh, what a moment! What a sight that must have been! What a moment! A hush of curious anticipation must have fallen over the entire crowd, as this indignant kid thundered across the battlefield, as if he couldn't wait to get his hands on this uncircumcised Philistine! What FIRE! What AUTHORITY! What BRAZEN AUDACITY! What GALL! Oh...what a MOMENT!...."PREPARE TO DIE!" Many of us have felt a similar kind of conviction, a similar kind of fire—in our lives before; utterly convinced of our imminent victory over our giants...yes, utterly convinced! And many of us have witnessed as some of those giants fell, like great oak trees chopped down in their prime...humbled by the meager stone of our childlike, yet mountain mountain, fiery faith! And yet, for as much as our faith victories feed and build up our faith, our faith losses have an even greater power to undermine and tear down that very same, faith. In fact, if we're not careful, one great loss can seemingly shatter the confidence developed by many victories...much as David's single stone was able to shatter Goliath! When David went out to face Goliath, he was on a winning streak because of his consecutive victories over both the lion and the bear! His faith was high, whole and unimpaired by any memories of past failures! David was hot! In fact, it's only when we've suffered defeat at the hands of one of our giants that our faith ceases in being innocent, child-like—pure faith. Instead, it very much becomes as a virgin who has been violated...and begins to behave as someone molested—wounded and unable to easily trust anymore! And yet the giants keep coming! And we may continue with bold talk but, with words unbacked by a fire long snuffed out! Now, as we stand to face our giant threats, our hearts are no longer whole, or whole heartedly steadfast in faith! Instead, it has become double-minded... fragmented—divided over the traumatic memories of past failures! And of course, the Bible says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways, and will receive nothing from GOD! (James 1:7-8) Aware of this, and understanding the need and reward for having faith, we attempts to ignore our doubts, pushing them down and try to mentally focus on having faith...not aware that—that kind of faith originates more so from our 'head' than from our hearts...that have become polluted by those trauma-based doubts! And of course, it's only believing from our heart, that saves us...not our head! As a result, failure and defeat multiply itself against our unstable and so unrewarded, faith...until our poor faith becomes so beat down, so traumatized, that many former fiery-faith, people are now suffering from what I've come to call 'Spiritual PTSD' or 'Shell Shocked Faith'! These formerly, on firey-faith people, have had the fire that once fueled their faith...violently snuffed! What was once a raging and glorious flame, is now reduced to a barely flickering and smoldering wick! And we have become a people, whose hearts have been shackled by unanswered trauma-based questions about GOD's unconditional love for us, as we now struggle desperately...to believe—albeit, with our 'head'. What do you do when you find yourself intimidated at the threats of your giant so that you are tempted to feel like a grasshopper, in your faith...in the presence of your GIANT ISSUE?! What do you do when your Goliath—your GIANT PROBLEM, looks down upon you in utter disdain, and you find the legs of your faith broken to the point of being too crippled to stand up on them?! FIGHTING FOR YOUR FAITH Oftentimes, even before we face the enemy of our faith, it is important, no imperative, to allow the LORD to heal us of our Spiritual PTSD. Or else we will find ourselves flinching or reacting shell shockingly to our present giants or even rumors of approaching giants, because of the devastating and demoralizing memories of defeats from our past giants! The Bible says: "Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked." (Eph 6:16) Those fiery-darted lies must not be allowed to penetrate our hearts to nest themselves therein! Those lies must be faced down with GOD's truth spoken in authoritative, faith! Sometimes, before you face your enemy, you must first confront his lies! Trying to ignore those fiery darted lying doubts, in the name of trying to believe is failing to block the blows of the enemy...and instead, allowing his lies to penetrate the inner recesses of your heart to metastasize and gnaw away at your already fragmented, faith! Your shield of faith has been given to you for a reason! Don't be afraid to use it for it's intended purpose. Therefore, before you can be free to attack, you must sometimes block the attack of the enemy—by confronting his lies, with faith's proclamations! I know of people struggling with addiction, trying to believe GOD for freedom from their addiction, while deep within the heart of their shell shocked faith, they believe themselves to be addicts! How can GOD liberate them from their addiction when in their faith, they believe themselves to be addicts! The lie of the enemy has successfully divided their hearts, rendering them double-minded and so unstable...rendering their faith—all but useless! I know Christians who are trying to believe GOD for success in something, while deep within the recesses of their shell shocked faith, they have received and believed the lie that they are failures...losers! This division makes them double-minded and so "unstable in all their ways", rendering their faith useless! Or when you are believing GOD to heal you when you see yourself as sick! Or when you're praying for the LORD to send you a spouse when you in your shell shocked faith believe yourself to be inadequate and not good enough for a spouse! And just because your spouse cheated on you doesn't mean that something's wrong with YOU! Hold up your worn out shield of faith...battered and beat up though it may be, it will still work if you work it! Proclaim GOD's truth about yourself with your shield of faith, whenever a fiery darted lie would attempt to divide and conquer your heart's faith! Faithfully block those lying darts with an authoritative faith declaration of the truth! You dare not let even one lie get through, unchallenged! Else you won't be fighting the enemy anymore. In your double-minded instability, you'll be fighting YOURSELF...flinching and twitching in fear and anxiety from Spiritual PTSD, every time an evil report or a frightening possibility presents itself against you; reducing you to feeling the undignified and horrifying vulnerability of being the enemies prey, or one of life's victims... wondering what happened to you and where GOD's power is in your life! NO! No more! Block that lying dart by authoritatively, proclaiming what GOD says about you! Protect what you believe in your heart about yourself, with your shield of faith! NO MORE! FIGHTING VS WRESTLING Eph 6:12 Says: " For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." The fire that burned in David's faith during his battle with Goliath raged as the battle ended almost as quickly as it began! It was a great feat of faith! And if some of our battle's ended as quickly, the fires of our faith might still be burning as brightly today as it was in the earlier days of our salvation! But, this has been our problem, exactly. We have too often been looking for a quick faith fight when more times than not, it turned out to be more of a wrestling match. Indeed, there are some issues we may have to wrestle with, sometimes! The under estimation of what it was going to take to win some of our battles demoralized our faith! That which should have been under our feet but, because of a gross miscalculation of how much of our faith's stamina it would take...ended up being over our heads! We declared war against some of our Goliath's, thinking that we were going to authoritatively 'sprint' our way to victory, through some of those battles, when maybe...we might should have better paced ourselves in more of an authoritative 'run'...short of a sprint! And in other cases, we might should have slowed down even more, in our approach and our thinking...to a brisk authoritative 'jog'! The victory would've been no less ours, and every bit as sweet! Goliath still would have fallen every bit as hard! And the head of our troubles would have been violently cut off, just the same! But, our presumption and lack of mental preparedness, took too great a toll on the stamina of our faith! We started off dealing with the situation from our GOD given position of AUTHORITY, or 'maximized faith' but, soon downgraded to a less commitment of our faith to one of just trying to trust GOD! As a result, because we were only mentally prepared for fights to end quickly—in the first round, problems that should have been soundly pinned within 3 to 5 rounds...ended up going the distance and even LOST, because of presumptuously squandering away our faith! So, sometimes, it is just a fight! Other times, it may be something we have to wrestle with! The LORD wants that we go out unto life's battlefields prepared for both! The AUTHORITY is yours! And the victory is yours, regardless! Therefore, the LORD has called his people back to their perspective fields of battle, to finally finish their unfinished business! And even as your GIANT SICKNESS, or your BIG PROBLEM, looks down upon you defiantly, mocking you—there is an even louder trumpet sounding from Heaven, calling forth the 'David' He placed within you to come out unto the battlefield to confront your Goliath! Greater is He that is in YOU...! Lay claim to this battlefield! For, it has been given to you as your possession! It belongs to you—as does the head of your enemy! Therefore, as you stand ready to fight it out or fully prepared to wrestle it out, be fully committed in your AUTHORITY and fully convinced of your coming victory! It is time for you to shut the mouth of this UNCIRCUMCISED CIRCUMSTANCE...once and for all! The stage is set. The battle lines, drawn! The spectators are watching! How dare this UNCIRCUMCISED CIRCUMSTANCE challenge you?! It is YOU who are the GIANT! How dare he?! HOW DARE HE?! Let all those present, especially the ears of your giant, hear the thundering boom of your war cry, echoing across the battlefield... ” GOLIATH! PREPARE TO DIE!"
How Can This Be?!

How Can This Be?!

By by The Green Pastor • March 12, 2019
I recently lost a critical faith fight, resulting in the loss of life for someone who was both a parishioner and a dear friend! The weeks leading up to her death...especially in the last week, I practically shut down the ministry to spend all my time with her in the hospital, praying literally...without ceasing!And unlike some of my past experiences, I didn't get the sense that it was 'her time'! Quite the opposite. Therefore, I exercised all GOD's authority in me over the enemy, believing and receiving by faith for her healing...literally day and night...getting home around 5AM in the morning each day, coming home to basically nap and freshen up, then heading back to the hospital to continue standing in the gap for her! In the end, despite her own great faith for her healing, and despite the fact that GOD brought her back from the brink of death 3 times, she still succumb to cancer...late this past Saturday afternoon. I was astonished. There was not a shadow of a doubt in my heart that the LORD would completely heal her! I was literally dazed with astonishment! As I gazed fixatingly into her lifeless young face, with tears streaming down my own, a question deafeningly screamed so loudly in my heart, that I thought that those around me could hear it: "HOW CAN THIS BE?!...HOW CAN THIS BE?!...HOW CAN THIS BE?!" Many of GOD's people can attest to the same heart shattering question regarding their own faith losses! For, if faith the size of a mustard seed can cast mountains into seas, then How Can This Be?! If GOD has given me power to tread upon all the works of the enemy, then How Can This Be?! If we are seated with Christ in heavenly places then, How Can This Be?! If my prayers are answered in the name of Jesus and if the devil is subject to the name of Jesus then, How Can This Be?! If people are supposed to be healed in Jesus name then, How Can This Be?!...How Can This Be?! Ohhhh..! How many of us have been here before? And how many of us have been so traumatized by our faith loss that we have become too afraid to stand in faith on a fully committed, sink or swim—fly or die level, anymore. We now would much rather prefer to walk in "Let go and let GOD" faith! Which is fine. It's much easier and much, much safer there! Let downs are far less devastating. Disappointments are far less traumatizing! But, the downside of that facet of trusting GOD in this way is that, even though we may see moves of His Spirit happen on smaller levels...and often through the course of time...it can be rare that we see any serious MIGHTY supernatural moves of GOD's Spirit, as we might in 'all or nothing' faith! Without a doubt, there is a time to entrust a situation into His hands to "Let go and let GOD!" (which I both preach and teach with great conviction) But, there is also a time to get into a good fight of faith, as well! And this was one of those times! The answers to my heart wrenching question about what happened, came quickly this past Monday morning, in what almost felt like a flood of understanding! And though the answers were not new answers, they were still...surprising! They were basic but, with deeper connotation and understanding. And they were coming to a heart that was more attentive...more receptive than ever! In the two places in scripture that Jesus teaches the disciples to pray; the first being the LORD's prayer in Matt 6:9-16, while in the second being in Mark 11:23-26 when Jesus talks about speaking to and removing mountains by faith...Jesus stresses at the end of both passages how important it is to forgive... "as you stand praying..." In both scriptures Jesus says and in one scripture He actually underscores that if we don't forgive, then we won't be forgiven by GOD: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matt 6:14) Why did Jesus attach a lesson on forgiving to a lesson on how to pray? Because, to the degree that I don't forgive, my own sins will be held against me. I will be held accountable for my any and every weakness and sin in my flesh! I can say I'm sorry to the Father until I'm blue in the face but, my benefits and privileges that are mine in Christ...are revoked! That's right! I can lose my kingdom privileges! I'm being disciplined for all my sins both big and small alike...! For, because I won't forgive someone, GOD can't forgive me! I am no longer in right standing with GOD! So, instead of being blessed...I am forced to have to bear up under the curse that Jesus died to set me free from! And this drastically sea-saws what was once easily a downhill manhandling 'imp' beat-down into an uphill, desperate, and fearful— 'faith fight' with the god of this world! For, through resentment or a withholding of love on any level, the enemy will have successfully unseated me from my position of authority over him— as I am no longer in righteousness or right standing with GOD! I will have fallen from being seated with Christ in Heavenly places! Now, I am reduced to having to wage spiritual warfare in a toe-to-toe faith fight with an enemy that I've been given absolute authority over! Oh GOD...How Can This Be?! How Can This Be?! But, it gets worse...far worse! Jesus says in Matt 18:34 "In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart." Jesus is actually saying here, that the person who won't forgive is spiritually imprisoned and tortured! That's right...IMPRISONED AND TORTURED! If I am imprisoned by the enemy, it means that he has the spiritual right to be in those designated areas of my life, that he might be occupying! And I will find myself in a captivity that I cannot even pray away — despite the greatness of my faith! Or like Paul says in 1 Cor 13:2 "...and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love...it profiteth me nothing..!" I will be rendered a POWERLESS prisoner in often, very critical areas of my life...despite how great my faith might be! And my captor who comes but to "steal, kill, and destroy" will have a hay day as he now has the right to do so! Indeed, the enemy will no longer be under my authority but, it is I who will be under his! Oh, LORD! How can this be?! When a person is spiritually incarcerated, the enemy has a stronghold in his life! That's right, a STRONG —HOLD or a strong grip on him to imprison him because of unforgiveness. A person can be imprisoned in addiction and its many forms; he can be imprisoned in poverty; imprisoned in his marriage; imprisoned in his sexuality! imprisoned in mental illness; And yes...imprisoned in sickness! No matter how hard or desperately the incarcerated person prays, believes, fights or struggles against his prison bars for his freedom, his enemy has a legal STRONG—HOLD on him, by virtue of his unresolved hurts or resentments! And if being imprisoned weren't enough, Jesus actually says that the person who refuses to forgive will also be tormented or tortured! The torturing of a prisoner is the suffering associated with his particular 'captivity', whether his torment or pain be physical, mental, emotional, or even spiritual! This can range anywhere from the physical pain or suffering resulting from a sickness to the mental torment of a mental illness...or even the emotional torture or torment of the many types of fear, depression, low self worth, shame, rejection, etc...! Now, the unforgiveness message is a basic truth in Christian understanding! In the LORD's prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray regarding it. " ...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." But, the truth is, how many of us are as free from unresolved hurt or unforgiveness, as we would like to believe ourselves to be? Most Christians, even the most mature among us, have been taken captive by it and have mostly overlooked it in our lives! I certainty did, as did my friend! And I've taught about it for years. No. Decades. But, what I didn't understand is that there could be varying degrees of it. There can be subtle forms of resentment that can be every bit as costly! The Bible says in 1John 4:12 "No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected (developed) in us." It also says in 1 John 4:8 " He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." So then, Love isn't just a feeling! Love is a person. The experience of true Love is in fact, the experience of GOD! Therefore, the Bible is saying that to grow in my Christianity or really, in my relationship with GOD, I must grow be growing in Love! The true mark of maturity in Christianity is not measured in how long I've been saved! Neither is it measured in how much Bible knowledge or revelation I may have! Nor is it measured in how good, or even how obedient I might be! But, the GOD who is Love personified, judges all things, does all things, and measures all things on the basis of LOVE! And His Love in me or, 'GOD in me' is continually being "perfected" or developed as I faithfully face life's challenges designed to help draw out and develop His Love in me...or Him in me! To Him, this is entirely the point! I have both said and heard people say many times that when they get to Heaven, the first thing they were going to do is ask the LORD "Why?" Have you ever wondered, 'WHY?' Well, this is why! The GOD who is Love is using all things to work together for the purpose of bringing about, restoring, and developing...LOVE! So, we may not always understand it but, whatever the LORD does, it is always from the basis of Love! For surely, all LOVE can do...is LOVE! And Whenever or wherever that Love in my life gets stopped up, at that point ends the jurisdiction of the Kingdom Of GOD, or the will of GOD in my life...likewise gets stopped up! For, where the light of Love ends, it is there that darkness and all it's forms, begins. Indeed, darkness by definition, is where the light is absent! And so unforgiveness is a damning up of GOD's light and all His benefits thereof, from others and therefore also...from myself! At any point that the benefits from His Love ( GOD's will) is shut down...no one may drink of it...not even me, anymore! The facet of His Love, of His presence, anointing, healing, provision, and glory— is on full throttle from His end but, the hose of my heart refuses to let His living water flow, in and through my life! Therefore, where Love stops flowing so too does Christ in me stop flowing! This is why I cannot break out of my prison, and neither can the LORD bust me out from my captivity—no matter how fervently I pray and believe! Because, the prison door of unforgiveness opens only from the inside...through forgiving! For, if unforgiveness imprisons me...then forgiving is the only thing that releases me! Therefore, let the LORD show you the people you have closed your heart to for letting you down, disrespecting you, taking advantage of you, rejecting you, or hurting you! Take some time and pray and let Him take you back to those places that have imprisoned you! Remembering also that sometimes, the people of GOD don't always recognize that they may be harboring unforgiveness towards someone, because they may not always necessarily feel anger towards the person that hurt them. Sometimes, a hurt can run so deeply that you may feel nothing towards the person that hurt you; not hatred; not love; not good feelings towards them—nor bad feelings towards them. You feel numb regarding them! You feel a disconnect! You feel...nothing! This is a clear indicator that your heart is closed towards them in what may well be the most insidious, most unrecognized form of resentment of all! In truth, unless we guard our hearts, each of us may find that most of us may be walking in some level of resentment towards certain people! If you're not sure if this applies to you, always remember that, wherever Love ends...unforgiveness begins! The litmus test is that there will be issues, problems, or strongholds in your life that you will be powerless to change, stop, or overcome...no matter how much you push, pull, or pray! You will not be able to change, grow, or escape—no matter the means, effort, work, techniques, you seek to employ! This has been the basis of most every victory that the devil has had over us. Indeed. Most every victory! But now, more than ever, I understand what must be done! And now that I am more aware of the playing field, I am going to be extra sensitive to watch and pray in this area! And as I mourn the loss of my friend, I am determined that, now that I better understand the playing field...I fully intend to make the enemy's victory in this situation to be both hollow and costly! I intend to use the understanding that has come from this tragic loss and others like it, as a weapon to make him pay! Because NOW...I can! Now that I understand...NOW, I can! And I WILL! Because even though my friend is now with Jesus— drinking deeply of the cup of eternal life, I mean to give her premature death meaning as I claim victories in Jesus name but also, in her memory! This, I swear! Surely, I have vowed a vow of vengeance before the LORD regarding my friend. And I am sworn that the tears that flow down my face, even as I write this post...will soon flow down the face of the enemy! He too will know what it means to taste bitter destruction and tragic loss! He too will at last know what it means to be threatened, terrorized, and yes...to be afraid! This, I swear! And let all those reading this post, cast aside the shackles of unforgiveness and break free from your torture chamber jail cells that ironically, has always ever unlocked...from the inside! Let us open wide our hearts to forgive and to Love again...especially the unloveable! This time, we will Love with a purpose! This time, we will Love as a calling! This time, we will Love with a vengeance! And then my brothers and sisters...and then, we will be restored back into right standing and into our rightful position with GOD! We will ascend again to our positions of authority in being reseated with Christ in heavenly places! Now, let us enter again back unto our battlefields, stained with the blood of our losses! And with hearts filled with GOD's Love and with a fiery determination rooted this time in better understanding...let us make the enemy pay! Let us make him pay! Let our every cried tear fuel our vengeance, as teardrops of gasoline fuel an already raging fire! Let us make him pay! And as you forgive, remember every loss! Yes! EVERY LOSS! Every Failure! Yes! EVERY FAILURE! Every death! Yes! EVERY LOVED ONE'S DEATH! Every sorrow! Yes! EVERY SORROW! EVERY TRAGEDY!... EVERY TRAGEDY! REMEMBER, My brothers and sisters! REMEMBER it all! Even and especially those memories that, have been too painful to face! You know, the ones that if you didn't make yourself forget...had the power to drive you mad! Embrace and use those memories, now! And even as we are newly committed to showing unconditional mercy for one another, let there be no mercy shown for our spiritual enemies! Let us by faith, hear our every spiritual enemy cry out with tears of very bitter defeat and tears of very abject annihilation...running down their faces! And let them cry out with loud voices, in an orchestra of agony...in a crescendo of destruction...the same deafening screams that once echoed in our hearts—Let it now echo in theirs: "HOW CAN THIS BE?!...HOW CAN THIS BE?!...HOW CAN THIS BE?!"
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