And unlike some of my past experiences, I didn't get the sense that it was 'her time'! Quite the opposite. Therefore, I exercised all GOD's authority in me over the enemy, believing and receiving by faith for her healing...literally day and night...getting home around 5AM in the morning each day, coming home to basically nap and freshen up, then heading back to the hospital to continue standing in the gap for her! In the end, despite her own great faith for her healing, and despite the fact that GOD brought her back from the brink of death 3 times, she still succumb to cancer...late this past Saturday afternoon. 

I was astonished. There was not a shadow of a doubt in my heart that the LORD would completely heal her! I was literally dazed with astonishment!

As I gazed fixatingly into her lifeless young face, with tears streaming down my own, a question deafeningly screamed so loudly in my heart, that I thought that those around me could hear it: "HOW CAN THIS BE?!…HOW CAN THIS BE?!…HOW CAN THIS BE?!"

Many of GOD's people can attest to the same heart shattering question regarding their own faith losses! For, if faith the size of a mustard seed can cast mountains into seas, then How Can This Be?! If GOD has given me power to tread upon all the works of the enemy, then How Can This Be?! If we are seated with Christ in heavenly places then, How Can This Be?! If my prayers are answered in the name of Jesus and if the devil is subject to the name of Jesus then, How Can This Be?! If people are supposed to be healed in Jesus name then, How Can This Be?!...How Can This Be?!

Ohhhh..! How many of us have been here before? And how many of us have been so traumatized by our faith loss that we have become too afraid to stand in faith on a fully committed, sink or swim—fly or die level, anymore. We now would much rather prefer to walk in "Let go and let GOD" faith! Which is fine. It's much easier and much, much safer there! Let downs are far less devastating. Disappointments are far less traumatizing! But, the downside of that facet of trusting GOD in this way is that, even though we may see moves of His Spirit happen on smaller levels...and often through the course of time...it can be rare that we see any serious MIGHTY supernatural moves of GOD's Spirit, as we might in 'all or nothing' faith! Without a doubt, there is a time to entrust a situation into His hands to "Let go and let GOD!" (which I both preach and teach with great conviction) But, there is also a time to get into a good fight of faith, as well! And this was one of those times!

The answers to my heart wrenching question about what happened, came quickly this past Monday morning, in what almost felt like a flood of understanding! And though the answers were not new answers, they were still…surprising! They were basic but, with deeper connotation and understanding. And they were coming to a heart that was more attentive...more receptive than ever!

In the two places in scripture that Jesus teaches the disciples to pray; the first being the LORD's prayer in Matt 6:9-16, while in the second being in Mark 11:23-26 when Jesus talks about speaking to and removing mountains by faith...Jesus stresses at the end of both passages how important it is to forgive..."as you stand praying…" 

In both scriptures Jesus says and in one scripture He actually underscores that if we don't forgive, then we won't be forgiven by GOD: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matt 6:14)

Why did Jesus attach a lesson on forgiving to a lesson on how to pray? Because, to the degree that I don't forgive, my own sins will be held against me. I will be held accountable for my any and every weakness and sin in my flesh! I can say I'm sorry to the Father until I'm blue in the face but, my benefits and privileges that are mine in Christ…are revoked! That's right! I can lose my kingdom privileges! I'm being disciplined for all my sins both big and small alike…! For, because I won't forgive someone, GOD can't forgive me! I am no longer in right standing with GOD! So, instead of being blessed…I am forced to have to bear up under the curse that Jesus died to set me free from!

And this drastically sea-saws what was once easily a downhill manhandling 'imp' beat-down into an uphill, desperate, and fearful— 'faith fight' with the god of this world! For, through resentment or a withholding of love on any level, the enemy will have successfully unseated me from my position of authority over him—as I am no longer in righteousness or right standing with GOD! I will have fallen from being seated with Christ in Heavenly places! Now, I am reduced to having to wage spiritual warfare in a toe-to-toe faith fight with an enemy that I've been given absolute authority over! Oh GOD…How Can This Be?! How Can This Be?!

But, it gets worse…far worse! Jesus says in Matt 18:34 "In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart." 

Jesus is actually saying here, that the person who won't forgive is spiritually imprisoned and tortured! That's right…IMPRISONED AND TORTURED!

If I am imprisoned by the enemy, it means that he has the spiritual right to be in those designated areas of my life, that he might be occupying! And I will find myself in a captivity that I cannot even pray away —despite the greatness of my faith! Or like Paul says in 1 Cor 13:2 "...and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love...it profiteth me nothing..!" I will be rendered a POWERLESS prisoner in often, very critical areas of my life...despite how great my faith might be! And my captor who comes but to "steal, kill, and destroy" will have a hay day as he now has the right to do so! Indeed, the enemy will no longer be under my authority but, it is I who will be under his! Oh, LORD! How can this be?!

When a person is spiritually incarcerated, the enemy has a stronghold in his life! That's right, a STRONG—HOLD or a strong grip on him to imprison him because of unforgiveness. A person can be imprisoned in addiction and its many forms; he can be imprisoned in poverty; imprisoned in his marriage; imprisoned in his sexuality! imprisoned in mental illness; And yes…imprisoned in sickness! No matter how hard or desperately the incarcerated person prays, believes, fights or struggles against his prison bars for his freedom, his enemy has a legal STRONG—HOLD on him, by virtue of his unresolved hurts or resentments!

And if being imprisoned weren't enough, Jesus actually says that the person who refuses to forgive will also be tormented or tortured! The torturing of a prisoner is the suffering associated with his particular 'captivity', whether his torment or pain be physical, mental, emotional, or even spiritual! This can range anywhere from the physical pain or suffering resulting from a sickness to the mental torment of a mental illness…or even the emotional torture or torment of the many types of fear, depression, low self worth, shame, rejection, etc...!

Now, the unforgiveness message is a basic truth in Christian understanding! In the LORD's prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray regarding it. " ...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." But, the truth is, how many of us are as free from unresolved hurt or unforgiveness, as we would like to believe ourselves to be? Most Christians, even the most mature among us, have been taken captive by it and have mostly overlooked it in our lives! I certainty did, as did my friend! And I've taught about it for years. No. Decades. But, what I didn't understand is that there could be varying degrees of it. There can be subtle forms of resentment that can be every bit as costly!

The Bible says in 1John 4:12 "No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected (developed) in us." It also says in 1 John 4:8 " He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." So then, Love isn't just a feeling! Love is a person. The experience of true Love is in fact, the experience of GOD! Therefore, the Bible is saying that to grow in my Christianity or really, in my relationship with GOD, I must grow be growing in Love! The true mark of maturity in Christianity is not measured in how long I've been saved! Neither is it measured in how much Bible knowledge or revelation I may have! Nor is it measured in how good, or even how obedient I might be! But, the GOD who is Love personified, judges all things, does all things, and measures all things on the basis of LOVE! And His Love in me or, 'GOD in me' is continually being "perfected" or developed as I faithfully face life's challenges designed to help draw out and develop His Love in me…or Him in me! To Him, this is entirely the point! I have both said and heard people say many times that when they get to Heaven, the first thing they were going to do is ask the LORD "Why?" Have you ever wondered, 'WHY?' Well, this is why! The GOD who is Love is using all things to work together for the purpose of bringing about, restoring, and developing...LOVE! So, we may not always understand it but, whatever the LORD does, it is always from the basis of Love! For surely, all LOVE can do…is LOVE!

 And Whenever or wherever that Love in my life gets stopped up, at that point ends the jurisdiction of the Kingdom Of GOD, or the will of GOD in my life…likewise gets stopped up! For, where the light of Love ends, it is there that darkness and all it's forms, begins. Indeed, darkness by definition, is where the light is absent! And so unforgiveness is a damning up of GOD's light and all His benefits thereof, from others and therefore also...from myself! At any point that the benefits from His Love ( GOD's will) is shut down...no one may drink of it...not even me, anymore! The facet of His Love, of His presence, anointing, healing, provision, and glory— is on full throttle from His end but, the hose of my heart refuses to let His living water flow, in and through my life! Therefore, where Love stops flowing so too does Christ in me stop flowing! 

This is why I cannot break out of my prison, and neither can the LORD bust me out from my captivity—no matter how fervently I pray and believe! Because, the prison door of unforgiveness opens only from the inside…through forgiving! For, if unforgiveness imprisons me…then forgiving is the only thing that releases me! 

Therefore, let the LORD show you the people you have closed your heart to for letting you down, disrespecting you, taking advantage of you, rejecting you, or hurting you! Take some time and pray and let Him take you back to those places that have imprisoned you!

Remembering also that sometimes, the people of GOD don't always recognize that they may be harboring unforgiveness towards someone, because they may not always necessarily feel anger towards the person that hurt them. Sometimes, a hurt can run so deeply that you may feel nothing towards the person that hurt you; not hatred; not love; not good feelings towards them—nor bad feelings towards them. You feel numb regarding them! You feel a disconnect! You feel…nothing! This is a clear indicator that your heart is closed towards them in what may well be the most insidious, most unrecognized form of resentment of all! 

In truth, unless we guard our hearts, each of us may find that most of us may be walking in some level of resentment towards certain people! If you're not sure if this applies to you, always remember that, wherever Love ends…unforgiveness begins! The litmus test is that there will be issues, problems, or strongholds in your life that you will be powerless to change, stop, or overcome…no matter how much you push, pull, or pray! You will not be able to change, grow, or escape—no matter the means, effort, work, techniques, you seek to employ! 

This has been the basis of most every victory that the devil has had over us. Indeed. Most every victory!

But now, more than ever, I understand what must be done! And now that I am more aware of the playing field, I am going to be extra sensitive to watch and pray in this area! 

And as I mourn the loss of my friend, I am determined that, now that I better understand the playing field...I fully intend to make the enemy's victory in this situation to be both hollow and costly! I intend to use the understanding that has come from this tragic loss and others like it, as a weapon to make him pay! Because NOW…I can! Now that I understand...NOW, I can! And I WILL! Because even though my friend is now with Jesus— drinking deeply of the cup of eternal life, I mean to give her premature death meaning as I claim victories in Jesus name but also, in her memory! This, I swear! Surely, I have vowed a vow of vengeance before the LORD regarding my friend. And I am sworn that the tears that flow down my face, even as I write this post...will soon flow down the face of the enemy! He too will know what it means to taste bitter destruction and tragic loss! He too will at last know what it means to be threatened, terrorized, and yes…to be afraid! This, I swear!

And let all those reading this post, cast aside the shackles of unforgiveness and break free from your torture chamber jail cells that ironically, has always ever unlocked…from the inside!

Let us open wide our hearts to forgive and to Love again...especially the unloveable! This time, we will Love with a purpose! This time, we will Love as a calling! This time, we will Love with a vengeance! And then my brothers and sisters…and then, we will be restored back into right standing and into our rightful position with GOD! We will ascend again to our positions of authority in being reseated with Christ in heavenly places! 

Now, let us enter again back unto our battlefields, stained with the blood of our losses! And with hearts filled with GOD's Love and with a fiery determination rooted this time in better understanding...let us make the enemy pay! Let us make him pay! Let our every cried tear fuel our vengeance, as teardrops of gasoline fuel an already raging fire! Let us make him pay!

And as you forgive, remember every loss! Yes! EVERY LOSS! Every Failure! Yes! EVERY FAILURE! Every death! Yes! EVERY LOVED ONE'S DEATH! Every sorrow! Yes! EVERY SORROW! EVERY TRAGEDY!... EVERY TRAGEDY! REMEMBER, My brothers and sisters! REMEMBER it all! Even and especially those memories that, have been too painful to face! You know, the ones that if you didn't make yourself forget…had the power to drive you mad! Embrace and use those memories, now!

And even as we are newly committed to showing unconditional mercy for one another, let there be no mercy shown for our spiritual enemies! Let us by faith, hear our every spiritual enemy cry out with tears of very bitter defeat and tears of very abject annihilation…running down their faces! And let them cry out with loud voices, in an orchestra of agony...in a crescendo of destruction...the same deafening screams that once echoed in our hearts—Let it now echo in theirs: "HOW CAN THIS BE?!…HOW CAN THIS BE?!…HOW CAN THIS BE?!"